It’s a fact well established, that having a long distance relationship isn’t easy. That’s not to say it’s impossible. For some people, a long distance relationship can work really well, but for others, it can be a real slog, especially if the relationship began as a regular relationship in which you were both in the same place, and it is less than a year old. Here are some things to consider when making a long-distance commitment.
Before you even bring up the idea of going long distance, it’s important to check in with yourself to see if that’s really what you want to do. If the idea of discussing it seems too early in the relationship, you might not be ready to make that sort of commitment. You need to take time to think about what you are asking of yourself and the other person. Do you feel ready to put in the time to make this work and also to spend time alone? Only you know this about yourself so take the time to think about your decisions.
Set out expectations
If you are both ready for the commitment, you need to talk about what a long distance relationship looks like to the both of you and what you both expect in return. How do you make each other feel special and wanted from far away? How much contact do you have – do you call every day or do you catch up over text and email? What do you expect when it comes to exclusivity? You need to get all these things set out before you even begin and have an endgame in mind when doing so. Is this going to be how things work forever or is the distance only temporary? Planning is key!
Do things creatively
Just because you don’t physically occupy the same space, you can still find creative ways to do things together. Play online games together, or synchronize watching your favorite TV show together. You could eat dinner together over Skype or maybe take a walk together over a video call. These things may seem small, but often it’s the little things that strengthen a relationship, and you can take them for granted when they are easy to do.
Enjoy your alone time
When you start spending more time alone, it’s easy to feel lonely and resentful or your partner for leaving you. But you need to be proactive about how you use your newfound free time. Your friends and family are still around you, so take the opportunity to see them more. Start going to the gym or pick up a new hobby that you’ve always wanted to try. When you are busy, you won’t have time to feel lonely. Also, your new found activities will give you and your partner something fun to talk about.
Get to know when the other person is busy or free so you know when you’ll be able to get in contact. Waiting to hear back from your other half can be a little soul destroying especially when you have something important to talk about or if you’re in need of a pick me up. It’s also better for them, so they don’t feel guilty about missing messages and phone calls.
Hopefully, this will help you see that a long distance relationship can work with a little effort, patience, and creativity. A long distance relationship certainly isn’t impossible, but it may need a little extra work. Make sure you know this before you make that commitment. Good luck!