Breaking up is never easy, and it’s fair to say that the breakdown of a relationship is hard on everyone involved – even if you don’t realize it at the time. Whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee, this fact that you’ll no longer be spending each day with that special someone can hit you right away, or it might take you a little while longer to notice their absence. Because of this, many exes try to make the cliche notion of “We can still be friends” work. However, is it always right to stay friends with your ex?
Yes, you should stay friends with your ex
No matter why or how you break up, there’s no doubt about the fact that your ex has had a huge impact on your life. Whether you had been together 10 weeks or 10 years, you made memories together, you laughed together, and you may have even grown together. That’s truly something special, and it can be hard to lose that from your life completely.
By staying friends, you can continue to be that shoulder to cry on, you can continue to make them laugh, and you can watch as they go about their lives and make new memories with someone else. It may be hard at first, but watching them find happiness again will show just how much you care about them. Remaining friends is also important if you have children, even if the relationship ended on bad terms. Keeping a relatively normal family unit will help your kids realize that while their parents are no longer together, they don’t have to separate their lives completely.
No, you shouldn’t stay friends with your ex
It’s a well-known fact that your ex is an ex for a reason, so why go back there? Although we all try to make relationships work, if your romance is not meant to be then there’s no point in forcing something that isn’t there. That’s because the more and more you try, the more you’ll crumble and the more you’ll put your own happiness on the line. Having constant reminders of this time in front of you as you go out for dinner with your friends or just meet up for coffee is not going to do your heart any favors.
It’s better to simply move on from your life, move away from that person, and find new love elsewhere. The best breakups are the ones where you simply have a clean break, and you don’t have to worry about bumping into them at the grocery store. You can spend time on yourself, you can take the time to work on old and new relationships, and then you can learn to love again. This way you will keep the positive memories with your ex, without tarnishing them with extra pain.
It’s always hard to think about an ex, and there may have even been a time where all you wanted was to be in lives arms again. However, you need to work out whether this is really what you want. The choice is entirely yours.