Dating is never simple. All manner of things can bring two people together, even if there are factors that might have otherwise kept them apart.
The presence of age gaps in relationships has received a lot of negative press in the past, and we’re here to say our piece. While we don’t see anything wrong with someone dating an older person, there are a few red flags that we’ve noted.
You see the future in different ways
An age gap is never more pronounced than when one of the people involved is in college. At that age, the difference of ten years or more is colossal, and part of that is down to how you view your future. When you’re young, you’re rarely concerned about anything further than a week away, especially if drink is involved (which it is). It’s college, after all.
As such, you don’t necessarily think very much about your future when you start dating someone. You take each day as it comes and make the most of your time together. Worrying about your future is something you do when you’re an adult, and you’re way too young to be one of those yet, right?
The person you’re dating may not feel the same way, however. If they’ve already got a plan in mind for your relationship – like getting married and having kids – then you may be heading for the end before you’ve even begun.
A difference of opinion
A lot can change in a generation. Children being born right now will grow up in a world very different from the one we knew as kids. They’ll never know a time when playing Snake was the most advanced thing a phone could do (aka the good old days).
The chances are that a relationship with an age gap is likely to be affected by a generational divide, especially if the partner is much older. This doesn’t necessarily present itself as an issue, but it can lead to differences of opinion that grow worse in time. They may make generalized comments about your age group, not considering you to be a part of it. The more this happens, the worse it will feel.
Every generation thinks they know what’s best, or that the world was better when they were younger, and it’s hard to switch that thought process off. If they can’t hold their tongue while around you, or even try to see things from your side, then you’ve got yourself a problem.
There’s no compromise
Every relationship requires compromise because two people will never agree on everything. It’s healthy to have disagreements and ultimately do things for each other that you may not enjoy yourselves – it’s how you show them you care. However, while sitting through that TV show they love or spending time with their friends that get on your nerves are suitable compromises, there is certainly a limit on how far you should go to make them happy.
The problem that can stem from dating someone who’s older is that they want you to settle down into a life that you’re not ready for. If they’re at the age where they’re looking to get married or have children, this can be dangerous territory for you. While they may be at that stage in their life, the age difference makes it pretty clear that you are not.
Well, you might be. Chances are, though, that you’re going to want more time before committing to that. If they’re not willing to wait, this relationship is not going to work. You should never jump into something you’re not ready for, no matter how much you care about the person.
Every relationship is different, and age should never be a reason to hold off on dating someone you’re interested in. Just make sure that you’re aware of the pitfalls before jumping into anything big. We don’t want you getting your heart broken.